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Tuesday, January 8

My own brother tried to collect. #biblical

Last year, just after the new year, I was told by the Holy Spirit my brother would contact me. Over time, I learned from study, and communication with Abba Father, I would have to go with my brother to get all my answers to some really deep questions concerning an entity that's been trying to take my life. This is that story.

When he first told me this in the end of 2017. I said, Well.., I guess...
I don't want my answers then. Cause, I really wasn't going anywhere with my brother. But, because I trust God. After all I've seen and been threw in times past I needed these answers. And I would pretty much do anything to get them. So, I decided, OK. I will go.

Peace Sign Necklace
On September 28th, 2017, my brother posted a picture of my mother. She was wearing a necklace in the picture that was identical to the one I had on during New Years celebrations. It just so happened that days prior I'd put a necklace on that I felt was related to my mother. I'd told a friend of mine named Mike.

"Someone gave me this necklace. But, I don't remember who or why I even took it cause I don't wear jewelry. Yet, I felt like it had to do with my mother." My mother is deceased. And had been for a couple years prior. So, there's absolutely no way the necklace was related to my mother. But, again, I felt as if it did. Well, how weird it was to see a picture of my mother, in her teen years, wearing that necklace! I was mind blown and so was Mike.

I'd put that necklace on saying; "I don't know why. But, I feel like this necklace has to do with my mother." And Mike... He will be a witness to that.

So, here we are. Some time after with my brother posting this picture of my mother who is wearing the same necklace. There was a difference in the color. But, those two look the same in every other retrospect.

I was mind blown to say the least.

I called my brother and was telling him how weird it was --even though he and I stopped speaking after our last encounter that ended with him beating me up.-- The call ends and within the next couple of weeks. I started to experience a host of emotions. The most overwhelming ones were those that told me I would need to end up leaving with my brother. I cried a few times about it to Mike.

Why did God tell me it was how I was going to get answers?
He told me it would be a set up.
And said that he had me.

Well, I tried like heck to fight that when the time came. Yet, I wanted answers more, and everything fell right into place as God had told me it would. So, I went when my brother came into town and wanted me to leave with him.

Here is how that went in a short condensed (as I can) version:

My brother calls me in April of 2018. He tells me someone is trying to kill him. Said he and his girlfriend Cindy took 20,000$$ off of a guy cause the guy was trying to set my brother up to pin a murder on him. He asks me for advice. I'd said to him, "pray" and told him what I'd done any time someone tried to kill me. I gave it to God and trusted he had me. I also told him how I would throw people off by a lie here and a lie there. I prayed for him. We sat on the phone a couple hours (very stressful conversation). And he went to our cousins house at the end of the call. I told Mike when we weren't on the phone anymore how I knew what he was saying was a lie. I knew there was something more to that story too.

He tells me he thought he would be leaving the city for awhile and he would like to stop through and see me. I said, "ok," thinking he wouldn't come.

But, he came, and when he did, I said I was out of town. Now, I was only 25-30 minutes away, I just didn't want to see him. When he first asked to see me I said, "no". I couldn't see him and tried to avoid him. He was calling me every day and asking where I was. I claimed I was out of town. About a week into his stay his story was all screwed up. Nothing he said added up to a truthful story. Keep in mind, I had been told months earlier by God this was going to happen. So, I knew he was on some bullshit. But, since the Lord God told me to go with him to get my answers...

He said, he was staying at my sisters cousins house. That our sister needed him to do a few things and he was handling that for her while he waited on her to be done with a trip. He claimed she was coming into town and would help him to drive back. He thought maybe he would find his son on the way if she didn't come. But, said that's why he stayed longer. -Mind you I know better.- I know what's really going on. However, I really didn't want it to be true. Vocalizing my feelings would lead to nothing more than everyone saying, "that's not true" or "I would never do such a thing".

As I said, my brother is calling me daily basically. So almost a week and a half into his stay he calls me and says he would like to see me just to give me a hug. After begging me. I decide to say ok, just a hug and you have to leave. So, he stops over. We chat for maybe an hour and he leaves. The next day he calls me and it's kind of late. He says he needs to clean out his car and wanted to chat for a bit. I allowed him to come over and we sat out back and chatted. He really wasn't trying to leave. But, I finally say "it's time to go". He leaves, and then calls me 20 mins later saying, he "needs help" cause "he got locked out" where he was staying. I asked Mike if he could stay and he said, "Yes".

The next morning I'm trying like heck to get him out nicely. As we are standing at the counter talking (after eating breakfast I made) I realize he is wearing a ring on his finger that looks like our mothers. I said, "Is that moms ring?"
He says, "no, it's mine"
So, I examine the ring and realize the one difference in this lion ring he is wearing is there are lines in the hair. Mothers didn't have lines in the hair. Giving it a dark shadow look.

I'm floored. A strange necklace I don't remember quite where I got it. God tells me my brother will get in contact with me and I would need to go with him to get answers to some really paramount issues. He posts a picture of mom and she is wearing a necklace that's the same, outside of color. At that point I was sweating. This in fact was looking more like I would need to go. It was bizarre. But, if you know me by now you know this is pretty normal for me.

He finally left sometime early in the afternoon.
I then went into prayer.

I believe I looked at some texts that reminded me of everything that transpired. Was reminded that in order for me to find the truth--of all that's been happening over the last 10 years--I'd need to go. I talked to Mike about it. Reminded him of everything that had transpired over a 6-8 month period of time. Telling him I would one day need a testimony. But, it looked like; YES! God really wanted me to go to get my answers. He was leading me, and he had me, nothing would hurt me despite the set-up this was.

He called me said he'd be leaving later that day. Our sister wasn't coming down after all. He wanted me to drive back with him. As I keep saying; I knew this was a set up. I'm telling Mike this is crazy I know my brother is setting me up. This is messed up. It's my own blood brother from my mother. I was torn. But, I was also adamant about Mike being my witness to this transpiring over all that time.  Asked if I wanted to go and see my sons. I really didn't want to leave with him.

But, I did want the truth... So, I went...
We left around 1:45 pm from Farmland Indiana. Stopped at the Masonic Lodge in Muncie off Madison St. He walked around there for almost an hour. I sat outside. Then, we went to Downtown Muncie Public library. Where he said, "he needed to get directions and map out some sights to see." I printed out a paper about various items regarding Cowan High School and Freemasonry. Gus went outside and talked on the phone the entire hour. It was clear then; I'd need to pay very close attention to everything.

Gus, (a blood brother of mine), tells me that he wanted to "take his time and sight see. Things may seem a little weird and 'off' but 'not to worry it wasn't anything strange'. We stopped at Walmart and I purchased us food for the trip. Then we stopped, and picked up some herbs, from a local place on the other side of town. By this time a few hours must've passed but he is ready to stop and get gas for the trip. Oddly, he stops and gets 20$ for a trip to Chicago nearly three hours away. Mind you, it's his plan to travel to Los Angeles to sight see because it very well may be "the last trip he was ever going to take."

As I said, we are heading to Chicago cause he feels led to get some pictures of sights to see. His reason is that he is trying to "expose the Illuminati".

What's interesting is how two people in the past two years told me they belonged to the "most powerful organization in the world". Then, they ended up betraying me too!

Pretty interesting when you realize what God told you was true. This was a set up that was well in action. I was heart broken. I'd told my brother and sister in hopes they would help me. They turned on me instead (although, I believe my sister was one of the first people they hired on to do this thing).
I never told my brother that I'd been writing, and was also talking to people about what's happened to me regarding these agencies and secret society members, but for him to say he was going to expose the Illuminati was very telling.

My discernment level is out the roof. I can pin a tail on a donkey in a millisecond. And this situation was nothing new actually. By this time, them trying to find ways to take my life became normal; A regular occurrence. So walking into a trap with the Lord God is safer than sleeping in your bed on a regular basis under lock, and key with surveillance yet, without God. He does what he says. As the scriptures say, [26] But ye believe not, because ye are not of my sheep, as I said unto you. [27] My sheep hear my voice, and I know them, and they follow me: [28] And I give unto them eternal life; and they shall never perish, neither shall any man pluck them out of my hand. John 10:26-28

Needless to say, it's now hours later, and we haven't made it more than an hour and a half from where we started. This is when tells me to "look up a Walmart and a gas station so he can get a card he forgot to get." I did what he told me. And by this time I may have been more than frustrated. I started saying things like. "Your making no sense at all". But, I did what he asked and found a location to suit his needs. He just ignores the exist and tells me he needs better directions, it wasn't the very one he needed, and some other lame crap.

I'm saying he is passing these exits (two by now) with a window he barely can see out of. The window was absolutely filthy from all the bugs splatted on it causing him to almost wreck a couple of times. So, I say "hey man, I've looked up what ya asked and you've passed it multiple times." This is about the time his true colors begins to show. He begins to yell at me about how he told me to map out his plan of going to Walmart (again) and to get gas and get his windshields washed.

The entire time he is texting back and forth with someone and making some really insane comments. Like, "quit talking I'm trying to hear from the President".

Phone rings. "Oh, wait this is the President" and he answers the phone. Whatever is being said is beginning to make him mad. He kept saying he wanted to become "president for 400k". Which I knew then he was talking about the bounty placed on my head that I told him about ages ago. This bounty has been revealed to me through different people and various instances as being 500k. It was two years prior that I had told my brother about this bounty and he connected with an old friend of mine who also had set me up the year before. It was my brother and sister that time too. But, they got at a friend and got him involved. So they had already tried with Mike in the Oregon incident. I've elaborated on this incident as well.

I'm growing really frustrated and my nerves were pretty high when I knew he just set something up over the phone. I had a fever that day from a toothache. I didn't feel very good. I was totally feeling the stress from the entire situation. In my head praying to the Lord God to please keep me and help me to stay aware of everything. Heck, I also was asking he forgive me for getting so angered by it all. Extremely intense moment's in that vehicle. Almost six hours passed since we left Farmland, IN and we aren't two or so hours away.

Once he says "Oh, I just talk to the President. I'm ok now. I know where to go." I'm like this dude has balls. And I said something about how he was acting and stuff. It really pissed him off too. I decide I'm going to record after hearing him say that.

If I had more storage I'd have gotten every word and moment we were together.

Here is another one of the two recordings concerning the first two days together. I don't much like listening to it cause it really hurts my heart. This is my blood brother. And in these moments I was seeing who my family was. What my genes are. Why I've been so ugly all my life. This is what I'd learned as a child. And none of this was easy. It's still not easy to tell.



The second recording where he is saying, "You cut me off, You cut me off"... and so on. He seen that I was recording what he was saying. So, in reality, I ended up saying the truth. But, couldn't get the truth out of him cause he realized; I'm on tape. Better not say anything to bad. And he calms down.

In one of the recordings you can hear him say, "he is trying to hear from the President". Now, who would the President be?

It was clear this "president" was who called him and gave him a location to meet up. He must've been on the phone with one of the agents that everyone whose betrayed me has said in the past "are the most powerful in the world." He was worried about the conversation on the phone. In this recording he keeps acting as if I'm the one whose talking crazy. But, I may have gotten agitated causing me to vocalize how I felt about it all blatantly. The reality of it all is my brother is asking me to do something, and when I do it, he wants to change it or not listen. You can even hear him tell me that I'm not thinking properly.

This tactic of making people believe they're crazy is common among these guys. Remember they've set me up on numerous occasions. He did tell me earlier that things may seem strange, and I may not understand everything however, everything is ok; I just needed to go along with it. So, yeah. I'm actually hot under the collar, and not sure of the situation I'm running into, it shows in my voice.

His step by step bull crap was all nonsense! That's what I was trying to tell him. Like, "Hey," I did it all like you said, and you keep changing your story!" But, he is "thinking about the President and what the President just said." I was tired of listening to him lying and trying to make up new stories every second to cover his tracks. It never made sense!

After this recording, we ended up at Best Buy. And this is where I found my answers. As soon as I stepped out of the vehicle. I see a man with two younger boys. One of the boys jumps into the mans arms. He must be about 10-12. They catch my eye. It was at that second. I came face to face with a man named Don Ashford whom I met 10 years prior.

The AERONAUTICS ENGINEER WHO CONTRACTED FOR/WITH N A S A.

Don is a man I met in Anderson, Indiana at a night club. It wasn't unusual for me to meet a good person- or two- in the club over the 14 years I danced. But, I didn't much make a habit of it. This guy was different. He stood out so much so that he look like he didn't belong there. So I went an introduced myself to find out why he stuck out like a sore thumb. After introducing myself- for no other reason than to ask him- "What are you doing here? You don't look like you belong here."

He told me he was on a "special assignment."
My reply, "Oh, yeah what's that special assignment?" He went on an gave me some mans name an made small talk about some b.s. I really don't remember. I thought it was a bit ackward. But, who am I to judge a man? What wasn't so normal was this guy said, "if I ever had big money issues to call him. He might help." He proceeded to give me a card. Now, I'm thinking, how weird. Why is this man offering me money? Well in a nightclub it's likely he wants a piece of butt. So, I actually didn't want the card. He said, "please take it. You may very well need it." I told him I wasn't "that kind of girl" and he tells me. "I don't want sex or nothing it was something else." And he gave me the card and left.

I stuffed that card and basically forgotten I'd had it. But, just after our meeting life went super crazy. Every and anything you can think of began to happen. Such as multiple pull overs in a weeks time to my furnace blowing, and water leaking. Not to mention money was stolen from me. Bills seem to be more than usual. Casino wrecked my new car that I'd just bought on a payment plan to replace one that I purchased for over 3,000$ cash and in a few months time had sprung an oil leak. The shop was never open to repair the vehicle. I finally said screw that vehicle. And purchased a newer one on payments. I'd buy food to come home and it's all missing. One time I caught a military man nameed Kevin Holland leaving out my back door as I was coming in the front. He had a pack of my chicken in his hands. Told me his kids were hungry and he was going to tell me he was taking it. But, needed it then.

Cause of the person I am. I took the man to buy a couple hundred dollars in food. But, never anticipated the crap I know now. Eventually every thing over time was stolen from me in one way or another. However, during this time frame, there were many things happening back to back. Multiple times a week and I really couldn't figure out what was going on.

Then, another weird situation occurred and about this time I found Don's card from months before. And I remembered what he told me. Thought it was awefully weird that this man made the statement he did and then all this shit started happening.

Honestly, my first call to him I was thinking why did he say that to me in the bar that day? I just ran across him number in my papers as I was really going through everything trying to figure it all out. What went wrong? I had three kids, ran business', danced on the side, sold merchandise on the side, and even always had money laying around my house. I was good with money. I was good with bills. I was good at paying employee's. But, my position was bad from tickets, broken cars, stolen food/merchandise I'd have to re-buy, higher than usual bills, and theft of money.

How could this happen to me?

There was no reason for it. As I said, life was all sorts of crazy. I remember during this time a girl stole money from me. Then, taunted me for hours calling me all kinds of names. So I clocked the girl. I clean hit her like she deserved it. Cause she did deserve it (well, I could've been more Christ like but..) I went to jail for it. And after being on the front page of the paper for my first incident ever. "Muncie stripper attacks with stiletto" was the headlines. It was outrageous! I even called the journalist who posted the article and asked him why he posted that on me. What he said isn't important.

It's just at this point; I wanted answers. In my curiosity. I reached out to Don as well. And upon speaking to him I didn't really gather anything strange outside of a wealthy man wanting a "friend". I'd told him it was really odd that he mentioned that if anything out of the ordinary happened he would help me financially. He asked, "why? Did something happen?" And I began to explain all the things from the girl that same week in the bar all the way to the furnace blowing up twice. All very odd situations and almost like I was a target. He said he understood. He was a very wealthy man who can spot when a girl may end up needing help a time or two and offered to send me money for no reason. I really didn't want to take it. But, at this point, I needed it.

So, I took it.

He did send me money. However, that money came up missing directly out of the account of my man at the time. He thought I stole it. And I couldn't explain how there was absolutely no record of it. It made me look as if I was a liar. I also had additional money out of my boyfriends account that came up missing. And I was beginning to look like a thieving liar. But, I wasn't behind it. Yet, I couldn't prove a damn word I was saying.

This didn't make sense at all.

Other things began to occur around that time too. But, I didn't think nothing about all that happened  until I was staring at him in the Best Buy parking lot. He looked at me with the look of "oh shit" she see's me. We locked eyes for a good minute or maybe two. Then, I turned and went into Best Buy with my brother. As I was in there. I seen all the signs of these people being around that has happened multiple times before by this time. They use what I call baseball sign language. Such as touch their nose, and remove their hat, or swipe their nose. What all of it means in laymen terms? I'm not sure. Outside of saying "I'm with these guys and letting you know I'm here"...

As I'm in Best Buy. I notice that at least 85-90% of the people in there are doing the same thing. So, I asked Gus if I could get the key to the car cause I needed to pee (it was a made up story to get out of there). He was being really strange and my spirit was quickened to leave the store and stand by the car. I went outside and began looking around. It was clear at this point they had something in store for me that night in that store. Ambulance's, cops, and other state vehicles were in the parking lot. I was a bit scared and really had no idea what to do.

So...
I just prayed.

Seeing Don Ashford was more than enough for me to start texting people that I knew. Asking them to save my texts and the information that I was telling them. As I didn't know what could happen. I still didn't know then everything that I know now. But, it was a moment of awakening. Don is an aeronautics engineer and had told me he did very private operations that he couldn't share with anyone. He laughed once and said, "or I will have to kill you"...

I know now what those operations are. Who is behind those operations and the fact that these operations are funded by our very own government.

My brother was still in the store for a little bit more time. I stayed at the car. He came out about 15-20 mins later. I was a bit nervous not understanding what was going to transpire. He keeps getting on his phone and looking around once he gets situated in the car. Starts talking about he doesn't know what to do at this moment. Decides he was going to get food. And just lingers in the parking lot.

I've known for almost six months or so that my own brother was going to set me up. My mothers son. But, at this point, I didn't know my very own sister was involved too. It didn't take long for me to find that out.

After a few phone conversations/text messages he decided to head into Chicago. Like I said earlier; I'd just went to the dentist earlier that day for a bad tooth that was causing a fever and a bad headache. So, I remained pretty quite the entire evening  until about 3 am.

I decided it was time to say; "Why have we been driving around the same six blocks for the last 3 hours? Your not taking pictures and the only sights we are seeing is the same homeless people who are out here doing nothing." I'd expressed having a fever and being sick. Felt it fair that he park the car and let me sleep. He drives around for about another two hours. Then, decided he would stop and look for a hotel.

This was on the Hotel Table
The hotel we ended up at had a sign in the front entrance that read, "Tiffany's Restaurant". I thought, how funny? That's the name of our younger sister. We got in and I went straight to sleep. My brother the entire time so far had to use every moment he could alone to chat on the phone. The next morning. I told him. I know what your up to and it's crap. I just layed it out. I said "I told you about the bounty I had two years ago and God told me what would transpire.

He says, "I'm wrong" that nothing is going on. I let him know that seeing Don Ashford told me exactly what's been happening the last 7-8 years since meeting him. If he wasn't doing anything with this Don (who is from Florida) then why does he have a problem with behaving in a normal manner? And why does his actions meet up with everyone else's actions that set me up in times past?

I had to go outside and pray really hard over everything. I was physically exhausted, spiritually drained, and emotionally distraught.

He claimed he was just having a hard time. He was sorry for the stress. People were after him. And he also claimed "he didn't know when he was going to take his last breath". Said "they could come and kill him at anytime". I knew this man was full of shit. He couldn't fool me because, you can't fool the Lord God, and I knew he had my back.

Gus claimed he was wanting to take pictures of everything. Again, it was his desire to enjoy his time now, "cause it may be his last", since people were trying to kill him.

I couldn't take it any longer. You can hear me get frustrated in one of the recordings. I'm saying; "look man if your just trying to find sights to see and take pictures of how come you didn't map that out in Muncie when we stopped at the Library to do so?" Why did you claim to spend an hour mapping shit out if you hadn't mapped out anything? Me asking questions pissed him off more.

I pointed out the fact he was on the phone when I was in the library. Now, he is arguing with me about mapping it out?" All of it was beyond fishy. My brother, from the same mother, tried to set me up to collect around 400 thousand dollars.

Of course, I mentioned that to him. I asked; "Whats all this talk about being President for 400k when I told you a couple of years ago about a bounty on my head for a half a million?"

He tried "soothing" my soul with some talk about how he will map things out before we leave so that it make's for an easier trip. But, once out of Muncie, he is arguing with me to map some shit out? I'd told him if the entire trip was going to be like this. I wanted out. Take me to a bus station. He said he would until we checked out of the hotel room and left.

Before we left though. He wanted to take pictures of the restaurant seeing as it had our baby sisters name on it. For about an hour and a half he took pictures of a restaurant, the hotel, and the billboard. What was wild about the whole situation is the billboard read YOUR SUMMER STARTS HERE. And I knew that was for me from my Father who is in heaven. There were airplanes landing just behind the airport. As they came in to land the planes nose would be down. Looking like it was crashing into the house.

Also, just for the sake of noting, all morning while he was in the hotel room. He spent the whole time on the phone planning. Noon rolls around and Gus is rushing. He hasn't done much of anything but, be on the phone. And just like the 4:00 am check in when he asked me to take everything upstairs. He asked me to take everything to car.

So I did.

Once I'd gotten everything in the car. I'd noticed the restaurant right next to the hotel called Tiffany's that the sign the night before spoke of. As I said; that's the name of our sister. So, we took the pictures for about an hour and a half. Then left.

But, remember he was in the hotel all morning on the phone. When I confronted him about the situation (just before he got on the phone) I mention his arguement concerning the map the day before. I also told him how I didn't want that situation to repeat itself or I'd go ahead and go back home on my own. My brother had promised to have directions and an idea as to where we were going that day.

But, his actions proved different.

Around 1 pm he is ready to leave.

I ask, "where are we headed" and he states, "same place as last night." Finally, in my frustration, I'm like "perfect I'm positive this is a trap and I'm getting out the car. Take me to the greyhound."

I asked if he would take me to the bus station multiple times.

He said, "No, I can hop out on the highway."

He then pulls into a subway. He wants me to come with him. I said, "no, I'm going to sit in the car"...

During this time he comes out and talks to some strange man who kept circling the parking lot. I immediately got on the phone. Gus and the man approached the window. I rolled it down very little and pulled my knife out to. The man tries to show me a ring. I don't want to look at it. Saying, "no thanks". I roll the window up all the way.

The man leaves.

By this time Gus is very angry.
UTAH/MISSOURI STATE LINE WE STOPPED

I asked to be dropped off again and he told me no. I could hop out on the highway while he is driving slow if I want to get out.

As you can see I've included a set of recordings that were recorded during these two days. Because of the amount of stress they cause listening to them. I chose not to listen to find out which one is which. There's nothing worse than finding out your own family would throw you under the bus for money.

But, this also proves the day and hour we are in, for it is written;

Matthew 10:21
And the brother shall deliver up the brother to death, and the father the child: and the children shall rise up against their parents, and cause them to be put to death. [22] And ye shall be hated of all men for my name's sake: but he that endureth to the end shall be saved.


These shenanigans went on until I left him in Iowa. We were somewhere on the Iowa/Minnesota state line and it was about 1 am. The rest of the story is just nothing but strife, and to this day, causes me a shit ton of grief. I pray for my brother and my sister. But, these two were very aware of what I was aware of too. They were trying to play things off as if I was crazy. It's another common tactic.

Baseball signs, same colors, people of all walks of life who are very organized. This is an absolutely normal way of life for more people than you can imagine in this nation. I remember back in 2014. Talking to Keith Evans about the different walks of life involved. He said, "Yeah, it's really unbelievable, families even using their kids in these situations every day". This is the most put together conglomerate in the nation. People live really good lush lives by being part of a grand scheme to kill people. They work together from state to state involved in crimes that are well organized. These people work for places like F E M A the U S P S, U P S, and different utility companies.

Helicopters on demand.

Move city to city in a phone call.
Tens of 30's of people will come out of the word work in every which way you can think of. They will make it so no-one else is in the area and kill you, then produce a movie that's depicting the victim as a mass shooter or the likes.

They are huge, and they operate on the G O V E R N M E N T S money!!

They will house you in a unit. House all the people around that unit. Get the building manager of their need. A year or two later. Everyone has an established story. Set you up. Then tell the world you went nuts and was doing x, y, z then killed yourself or they had to kill you. People get scared of their neighbors when they should be scared of the people who steals their money every day in every way possible. G O V E R N M E N T
N A S A, N A S A, N A S A #Liars

As for me. I trust God. I know anyone who listens to those recordings will have a different opinion and a different thought. But, that doesn't change the truth. I fear the Lord God. He is mighty and told me no-one can pluck me out of his hand. Not even alphabet agencies who are exploited. Working together through neighborhood associations, local unions, and even your local utility companies. They have people in literally every market out here. And these guys are very powerful. They even come at your family. Employ them to turn on you. Will work years together to make your life go to shit.

And I get it. People would say. No WAY! But, I'm here to tell you, I have absolutely no need to lie. As a matter of fact; I prefer not telling the story. It's embarrassing if you ask me. But, this no longer is about me. It's about doing the will of my Father in the mighty name of Jesus Christ.

I've come to find, the truth sets people free, just as it's written...

John 8:32

Then Yahushua Christ Jesus said to the Jews who had believed in him, "If you continue in my word, you are truly my disciples; and you will know the truth, and the truth will make you free." They answered him, "We are descendants of Abraham and have never been slaves to anyone. What do you mean by saying, 'You will be made free'?"

Yahushua Jesus Christ answered them, "Very truly, I tell you, everyone who commits sin is a slave to sin. The slave does not have a permanent place in the household; the son has a place there forever. So if the Son makes you free, you will be free indeed."


As I was saying earlier. Gus won't let me out of the vehicle unless my (handicapped, injured self) jumps out on the side of road! Now, if my brother is being reasonable (as he would claim) why did I have to call my grandmother for him to finally get out of Chicago? They tried one more time after the Best Buy incident to come together and do whatever the hell they've been planning for years. And by now all people have to do is ask around my hometown. They will know I'm telling the truth about multiple people coming together to try and have me killed. And for what reason is beyond me. They've spent a shit ton of money trying to capture and kill me. God keeps helping me get away. And since this incident with my brother. He told me that my brother would be in his own trap. He said, "ANYONE WHO MAKES ME THEIR PREY WILL BECOME HIS PREY" and I can't help but say. It's not wise to be like my stupid brother and try and kill me. I've an anointing on me head. Besides, by now, I'm not afraid to die. It actually helps me to gain sleep and then going home faster.

But, that wasn't the case then. I needed to be careful. I wanted to finish getting to the bottom of things. I knew there was more cause Abba Father hadn't told me to leave yet. So here it is. He won't let me out the vehicle. I'm on and off the phone with friends. Cause I felt like the guy in the van who had the ring really hoped to snag me up. But, me pulling up the window and having the doors locked kept that from happening. We drove around all day in and out of the Ghetto of Milwaukee.

Sometime during all of this my brother gets a phone call and says that he knows exactly where to go. And just like that he has a map! Someone had text him a map. (I know cause I seen him load it from a text message). I wanted to understand it all; Not to die. If my brother gets mad enough he kill me himself.

ADDED IN UPDATE: Since writing this original story sometime over a year ago. My brother did commit murder. Supposedly killed a man in Hollywood, California. I guess the Lord God handed him over to himself?

As I said previously. He has it in him to kill me. Heck, he had no problem trying to molest me as a child. Then, blame it on me. I was 14 and we were visiting them thirteen hours away from home, and I fell asleep in his bed while he was out, to wake up with his hands in my pants! He had it in him to do that. He had it in him to punch me that last time he seen me. Then record me after he does when I'm upset to try and say I was the one who attacked him. He has always been a manipulative liar.

He got with Michael Scantland the year before and devised a plan to have Mike betray me. And he did. But, I got away then too. And despite a person believing there could be no way someone like me could be in and out of these situations. But, I'm here to tell you, I believe all this could happen so I could express the power of the Lord God. he is mighty. I've seen him confuse a whole group of people. They couldn't do anything that he didn't ordain. A few times (when I was living in sin) I got physically hurt. But, so long as I'm living right

And I used to be just like these people. So blinded by a demonic sickness that you can hear me asking God to protect me. Saying things like; "I won't loose my Christianity for you" to him while on recordings.

I only recorded when I could do so with out him seeing. He caught me the second time and started talking different because of it. So, I was as discreet as I could be in a vehicle. Recorded when it appeared the most vital. Because, I was running out of space to save these recordings. I wanted to try and capture as much as I could without looking suspicious.

As I said; We ended up in Milwaukee and my brother wanted to stay in the Ghetto most of the day. Except for a couple of times he went into the upper scale area to stop on a corner jump out of the car and take a few minutes worth of pictures.

We also went to a Catholic Church. The Jehoshaphat Cathedral. A man approached us and spoke. I walked to vehicle. Next thing you know were driving around the hood of Milwaukee a hundred times. I'd had it by then and said, "I'm getting out of the vehicle. This circus is over." Well, he still wasn't willing to take me to the bus station and I was tired of losing my belongings (as I've done over and over since this mess started happening). I decided to call my grandmother (who my brother specifically asked me not to call) This changed the way he operated. He left Milwaukee and drove for an hour or so. Then he calls my sister. This is there conversations...

BTW, all the following conversations happen that night on the 2nd day. This story causes much stress and I can't figure out their order of happening. I could have the order messed up. But they're all in the same night and this is my sister and him on the phone talking.



My sister supposedly doesn't know I'm in the vehicle. But, he keeps needing to find a place to "park" but we are now over an hour away. She also knows. I know her very well and she is talking as she always does when she is plotting something.





This one here shows my brother was trying to make it happen while he was in the ghetto. But, me calling Mama messed it all up. Then he says "oh, if I knew he worked there I would've stayed." If my sister didn't know I was in the vehicle.

How would my brother had avoided her knowing if he would've met her friend? It's clear to me because I've dealt with them and this before. My brother had it in his mind to collect that bounty. The same one Mike was used to set it up in Oregon. Remember, I know more now. And since then, it's been proven my sister has always had something to do with this.

Sometimes I wonder if it didn't all start with her. Most all celebrities have to have a sacrifice to make it big. I think my sister would've had no problem turning me over to such people so she could have her fame on the red carpet.




More in detail happenings between me and my mother from Chicago to Iowa before I left. (this isn't edited and it's quickly ran through)

The night ends with Gus and me driving all night long into Minnesota. We stopped at a place that had a sign saying "The weigh Station"  were taking off around the areas I could get out and someone else would've been buying me the ticket. or else I's have been out of the vehicle). After going to cave on the Mound on May 9, 2018

After leaving Cave on The Mound we drove for some hours until we hit the Utah line. There we stopped and grabbed a meal and I had a couple of drinks. Once we left my brother started with his shit again and I no longer could bite my tongue. So I started telling him I know he had set me up for the crap in Oregon with Tiffany and that this was there second attempt. My brother got real angry and hit me a couple of times. He stopped and got a hotel. I took my bags out of the vehicle and left at 1 am in the morning.

There was a semi that stopped up the street and I heard Holy Spirit say go to that truck. So, I ran down the street a couple of blocks and ended up meeting a man named Dean Rabe. I told him that my brother had just hit me a couple of times, I'm broke, and needed help. He said he would help me. I retrieved my bags. Then was with Dean for about a week until I left hitchhiking to Los Angeles where my kids live. Me and Dean made friends (not lovers) but in essence we both helped one another to understand some things. It was about that time. I realized I had better tell my story. After having been in LA a couple of weeks I contacted the FBI and told them. But, the FBI never called me back. Instead, I got a voice mail (that I accidentally erased) from someone claiming to be with the FBI. I called the FBI and stated I got this call and was informed that they can't do anything for fraudulent calls because they didn't have a call to me on file.

I find it interesting to say the least that my sister and my brother had it in mind one year prior to do the same thing. As you can see this is the ticket my sister had purchased for me to go to LA.
This was the last incident that happened in terms of someone trying to collect this bounty I keep talking about.

BTW THE MIKE FROM OREGON AND THE MIKE I SPOKE OF STAYING WITH AND TALKING TO HERE ARE TWO SEPARATE PEOPLE!

Friday, January 4

My Dime; the good you bad you pg. 1

Revelations 12:11
pg.1 of many pages...
How do I start this story? Do I tell of everything I've ever done wrong first? Or do I resort in using a timeline of events? I've tried going on the whim, writing off feelings, and trying to make it make sense. But, when I'd come back to read was disappointed in the outcome. This is one of many personal issues that's plagued my life. Another would be my mouth-as I have a tendency to talk way too much-and it's foolish. I'm over analytical, used to judging things off mans precepts, and basically my own worst enemy. So, how do I find a happy medium when it comes to writing down what I've been led to understand since I was asked to tell my testimony by the Lord God himself?  In my faith, I call upon the Lord God (who I know as Abba Father) to direct my words in the name of Jesus Christ to make clear what I've witnessed to edify my Lord and Savior.

Deuteronomy 32:3
 3For I will proclaim the name of the LORD. Ascribe greatness to our God! 4He is the Rock, His work is perfect; all His ways are just. A God of faithfulness without injustice, righteous and upright is He...

This is a story of how I learned of there being a good you and a bad you existing within each one of us. All of us have had a struggle or two, and quite frankly, this struggle has been with no-one else but YOU and this goes for all of us. Essentially, this story is my autobiography, Carmen D. Rivera-Long, and it's been a very supernatural one that's almost unbelievable for me. My story of stories is of envy, strife, brokenness, loss, abuse, and hate that's turned into hope, love, and through mercy; forgiveness. In my journey to escape the clutches of death I was shown the very thing that kept me bound. And it was no other person than me! 

As I mentioned before, I'm writing this story because I was told tell my testimony.  You see, I'm what many would call a targeted individual and because of this my life has been put in danger more than I can count. It started -I believe- at birth because my biological father was stationed at Camp Lejeune during the time they were sprayed and fed agent orange. Which has been identified as a reason why the first born daughters (I am) have been unhealthy or suffered deformities (my health has always been bad, and my niece as well as my little cousin have arm deformities, as my Uncle was also stationed there-). This must've landed me on some sort of watch list (which would explain my visits to the pediatrician that were always different than my brother and sister). I believe that developed into something larger as I grew up (because of this social scoring system they use). This eventually led to them trying to take my life on multiple occasions and set me up on many more.

This story of stories hasn't been easy to tell, and when I first was charged with telling it, I realized the memories of my childhood were far and few between. By now I've come to terms with the fact that my childhood was abusive in more ways than one. This is more than likely the cause of needing to ask for my memories to come back. Most of what I can recall has been fragmented and it causes me a lot of grief when I revisit them. I hope this doesn't lead to me jumping around too much but, the mental trauma had to of shown its face when I lost my virginity. My mother was always calling me whores! It made me feel like; "Why don't I just do what she says I am?" Cause, if I wasn't why would she say I am? (sounds like what the rapper Eminem says) 

Anyhow; I remember one time she asked, "what are you afraid of Carmen?" I replied, "I'm scared I won't live up to your expectations." 

She had some weird hold on me and when I look back on it I wonder; why did she? But, obviously this hold was something fierce cause I lost my virginity just over the mere fact she claimed I was a whore (even though I was a virgin). My ex-husband told me once- when I was upset and crying- That I was heartless and he wondered what my mother had on me that would make me cry in a second. He said no-one could make me cry but her, and I hate to admit this but, he was more than right.

Heck, I lost my virginity because my mother would call me whores and I felt like I needed to "measure" up to her thoughts of who I was. Now that I look back on it all I feel really disturbed with my own responses. But, as time has proven me that it comes full circle. I realize I can't run from who I was. Mom's now gone and my fear has changed into hope and love. I fear what God is going to do to me as I stand before him.

Anyhow, because I've been essentially "hunted" for the last ten years it had come a point that I needed to ask Abba Father "Why am I still alive?"

His reply: "I'm not done with you yet."

So I asked another question (because, they've tried to take my life so many times and I'd made it out alive). "How will I die?"

His response: "they will cut your head off."

In the midst of trying to overcome all the evil things I was used to doing I had to ask "how can I overcome?" (cause all I want to do his will) and he showed me Revelations 12:11 "And they overcame him by the blood of the Lamb, and by the word of their testimony; for they loved not their lives unto the death." 

I knew then what I needed to do. 


I'd started these blogs showing stuff from what the Prophet Jonathan Kleck had been revealing and random other stuff like criminal deeds that were being disclosed. I'd stopped posting for some time so, I'd decided to start a YouTube channel and start back utilizing these blogs to maybe generate an income. It was then I was charged with telling my testimony to the public. 

I'd thought I'd use one blog to help me keep track of new/current events while telling of the old ones on another. Which let me tell ya none of this has been easy. In more ways than one has it caused large amounts of stress trying to relive it all. And at the same time it's been helping me to grow spiritually (what a paradigm). 

A few things about me:

  • At 14 I met satan on four different occasions. At 17 I ran into a book titled Divine Revelation of hell written by Mary Baxter that told of everything I'd learned by meeting this dark entity who I've come to know is satan. The first page I'd opened to in the book that day to described satan to the exact manner in which I did a few years prior. It blew my mind that she seen him the same way I did and explained him the same way too. I read that book in less then 24 hours. 
  • At 14 I was forced into an abortion
  • At 17 I had my first child.
  • By 19 I had my second child.
  • By 23 I was baptized and met the Messiah. Ten years later a book was written called Heaven is for real, and the story that little Colton Burpo told hit me like a lightening bolt. To my surprise he described the Messiah the same way I did; down to a T. Just like Mary Baxter had done with Satan. In the back of that book was a tribute to a little girl (whose not so little anymore) named Akiane Kramrik who painted Prince of peace at the age of 8. I looked that up and you don't have to believe me but this is who I was with the night I was redeemed. They also compared that painting to the shroud of turin and said it was 98% accurate.
  • I'm a bastard child conceived in sin.
 It's written; You will know them by their fruit.
The fruit of the spirit is long suffering, meekness, love, joy, peace, gentleness, meekness, goodness, and faith.

It was by this fruit I learned who I was in spirit and in truth. So. here I am, ready to point out many truths concerning my life path that showed me I wasn't living upright and righteously. Because of these truth's I'm going to use the scriptures to also point out how my testimony fulfills these scriptures in hopes that someone may learn what not to do in their walk. 

This is a story, and a good book, that will have many errors cause I'm human and have never been the greatest at writing (although, some people have said different).



Pointing out others wrongs is something we're all good at doing. But, how many of us can say we're good at pointing out our own faults? It may not be hard to do when it's just you pointing them out to yourself. But, sharing them with the world wouldn't be so easy (trust me this craps pretty hard to say the least). At least that's what I've come to learn. Aiming to perfect my faith in Christ I've asked for the condition of my heart to be revealed to me. In doing so, I was face to face with some really hard truths to comprehend, and deal with, that left me scared and in danger of going into the pits of hell, and let's just say, that since meeting Satan at 14 I knew I didn't want to experience outer darkness where there is weeping and gnashing of teeth and neither do you... 

As a "targeted individual" there's been a world of unknowns revealed to me concerning criminal operations seamlessly integrated into everyday life that involve high level people from every city, town, and state in the U.S. Gratefully, I'm alive to share them, and in hopes, enlighten the eyes of many to bring them to repentance as these agencies have all somehow played a role in my targeting. From doctors, first responder's, the (in)justice system, people who posed as friends, and even my family has turned on me for the love of money. 

Because I didn't understand the scriptures as I do today I'd gotten a lot of things wrong in my walk. The first one truth that kept me confused and bound by the world was my choice in friends. My friends (or who I once called my friends) were from all walks of life. City workers, construction operators, mothers holding two jobs, social workers, real estate, and even a couple semi-famous people, and in the end of bad decision making days (I finally realized) some were straight street thugs. But, they were hard working, took care of their families, and was only doing what they had to do to provide for theirs. Now if I describe them, I'd have to say all of my friends were under the control of the Prince of the power of the air, and they were by definition children of disobedience from the best to the worst of them. These people I'd been hanging out with all differed in their belief system. Some didn't believe in a "white Jesus", others just didn't believe anything the bible said cause they claim "man wrote that book", a few believed but they didn't practice righteousness, others believed in Budha, Islam, and witchcraft, and then there was those that did believe, and practice righteousness, that snubbed me as if they were better. All these people influenced me in one way or another to look into other religions and it all boiled down to the truth of their being only one way to the Father and that's through Jesus Christ (just as the scriptures say).

John 14:6
Jesus saith unto him, I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by me.
Getting into the details:

Here's a quote to put my confusion into perspective: "Birds of a feather flock together". When it came a point of self searching I'd really had to ponder this thought; If I'm hanging out with people who don't believe in the messianic message how can I be following it? They also say, "You are what you eat." So, if this be true then by definition my hanging with people who laugh and mock God or say things like God **** then I'm taking in mockery, scoffing, and antichrist principles, not God fearing principles like love thy neighbor, as I should. 

Oh! I thought... 

How could I be fooling myself? Now, at one point in time I didn't think like this, and even at this point, had not yet considered what the scriptures said when it came to who I was surrounding myself with.

At one time, I believed the scriptures where they say we should be the light and salt of the world meant that we shouldn't worry who we hang out with so long as we were living right. These people who had no faith needed people to love them, and we need not judge them on our own, that was up to God. So, it was my understanding that they would see how God was good to me and they would eventually turn their life over to him. Boy, I couldn't have been more wrong. 

Scripture says:
2 Corinthians 6:14 - Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness?

I'd learned that scripture to mean; Don't marry anyone who doesn't believe. Now I know that there are many who do believe (the devils know that he is real) and don't live the godly life the bible tells us to live. In some cases new believers are just learning. Yet, people who have been of the faith for many years should be more zealous to live according to the scriptures. These days I don't want to be around anyone who doesn't believe the written word of God and try to follow it. I mean, I go after those who don't believe and share my testimony however, I don't need to hang out/dine with such. Although, I'm by far anyone who is perfect, there's nothing worse than being around people who can't edify my master. 

I'd learned that the desire to want and pull people along the path I was on was just as sinful as them not desiring the truth. Some people are destined for hell, and some are destined for eternal life, it's not up to me to decide that fate. So, why force it? After coming to terms with my ignorance I changed my surroundings and found it easier to maintain a relationship with the Most High. 

From my perspective, these people I once called a friend aren't in the same spiritual mindset as me by choice; not by force. As I would talk about God they would mock him, or say that my beliefs are wrong, and always resorted in calling me "crazy". It came a point where I seen this unhealthy connection to people that enjoyed degrading me and I'd (after growing weary) decided to cut those ties. Doing so has made a world of difference. 

In 42 years I've been called many things but, Holy isn't one, and yet, that's what I'm striving to be. I have however been called crazy, considered a radical, and so much more. As I said earlier, even my mother called me whores from when I was young and told me I wouldn't ever amount to shit. Looking back, I can see how this caused me to think unhealthy relationships were ok (cause they were so "normal"). It's screwed up how I never met anyone like myself who would've put me in my place. Likely people wanted to but, didn't have the balls cause how I came across to them. A few over time told me they were afraid of me. That kinda hit me hard. But, as gifted as I was, I didn't think that I could be so gifted and possibly deceived. When your own worse enemy is you these little "fouls" aren't so little and they happen all the time across the board in every given situation. 

I would know best (yeah right)!

I've always been my own worse enemy. There was a time I heard the Holy Spirit ask me how come I can't be my own best friend?

To be continued...



Proverbs 22:6 6 Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.

********

who told you God wasn't real?

My dime; Good You bad you #2

Friday, October 12, 2018 

Truth will always prove itself out, and no matter how crazy a story sounds, if it is true it will stand alone, unique in it's form, and accomplish the job it was created for. John 8:32  Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.”


.... Continued From: My Dime the Good you bad you #1

As I stated in the end of my last post. I'm my own worse enemy and I believe I was taught how to be this way from childhood.

I've always thought my enemies were other people and that I just got the shit end of the stick. Now I know how wrong I was. I'm praying as I write this out to make clear how broken people break people, lose their identity, and even destroy everything good to them. There was a scripture at the end of that post pertaining to raising a child up in the way they should go and they won't depart from it. The decision to use that scripture as a starting point for today's writing is complex and not easily explained in a few words. In fact, because of who I am, I must share more of my story before I can expound on it. Throughout the next few posts I hope to make very clear how this pertains to my life and where I'm at at this point.

Recall I mentioned losing my virginity? Well. after having lost my virginity on the basis that my mother thought I was a whore, and I felt like why not, it's clear now that I was really damaged as a teenager. Just prior to me losing my virginity our family went on the usual family trip to my grandmothers in Philadelphia. One night I'd fallen asleep in my brothers bed. He was out partying somewhere, and well I don't know why I fell asleep there but, what I woke up to I didn't believe would happen. I wake up to him in my pants playing with me. I was confused, scared, and freaked the hell out. So, I moved and it moved him to stop. I got up, went to the bathroom, and was sick as all get out, freaking out crying in a total state of shock. My own blood brother just assaulted me sexually and I really didn't have anyone I could tell. In my house growing up you couldn't tell how you felt about stuff without feeling bad for being you. So I kept it to myself and just stayed a distance away from him.

Over the course of the next few months to a year I started to rebel against everything. I hated my home life. I hated my family. The people at school was always cruel to me for no reason other than I was hispanic and they were racist whites. It was a confusing time and very lonely. One day I decided that I wanted to run away because my step father would go nuts on me for the phone ringing after 10 pm. 

How was I to control what other people did? I'd told them to not do it. But, they did anyways, and it caused me problems in the home. So, I started running away. I would sleep in people's tree houses, in houses they owned but didn't stay in full time, and at anyone house that would harbor a runaway. I still was going to school but, they never found me there. My mother when she finally found me, one time, asked me something that made me say what happened with my brother. Still, that never changed anything. Matter of fact, I believe my mother hated me even more after that. After running away so much I was thrown onto house arrest and had to do video check-ins with the city of Muncie.

I'd been asking her to let me live with my Father for quite a long time prior. He was different. Much more calm and level headed than she was. And there was no abuse that I would have to endure. As I mentioned before my mother was very abusive. She would tell me that I was never going to be shit, how no-one ever wanted me, and that I would never be loved. But, I still loved her. I always hear there's nothing like a mothers love, and I think to myself, not in my situation. The love was toxic and could kill you if you did anything that wasn't under her control. Yet, the relationship affected me well into my late 30's. Eventually leading to a complete break down and loss of identity.

I'm getting ahead of myself though.

I assume because this is my life story, and I'm sharing this publicly. I want it to be something worth reading. But, I can't seem to do nothing more than cringe and feel as if I want to crawl out of my own skin recalling these memories as I write them down. Plus, I'm not a superstar or anyone who even has some sort of influence in this world to get people even remotely interested in reading my story. To write down this sort of personal stuff for the world to look at is just the hardest crap I've ever had to do.

Let me skip off into a point in life when I was much older.

At one point, I was helping a gentleman who owned an old house he no longer wanted to deal with, that needed repairs. So he gave it to me for payment of labor. The work needed was a lot, and I did as much as I could during the summer months, unfortunately, winter was rolling around pretty fast and I didn't have what was needed to get the roof repaired in time. So I contacted my uncle and he invited me to stay with him and my father up in Illinois. He'd said he would help me repair the house the following summer. Relieved, I said yes with no hesitation, and soon I was living with the two of them. The peace of mind for the first time in years was awesome. But, the pain in my body was increasing, and with no medical help I'd gotten into my uncles over flow of pills to help me. And I told him I did so. He wasn't angry just disappointed and asked me to ask first. In which I agreed.

I'd tried selling soap again to save some money up for the repairs that would need done on the home. But, things weren't going as planned. A few times I came home and noticed that things were not in the same place as when I left them. But, I chalked that up thinking maybe I'm wrong, and being paranoid, as this had happened many times in previous years on my own. Also, during this time, another issue that arose stemmed from me awakening in the most horrific pain. I'd had cuts and bruises all over me; defensive wounds. And I felt like I'd been drugged. But, I couldn't remember anything except for a bright light having shined into my room the night before that put me to sleep. About a week into the pain I visited the emergency room and they claimed it was a minor strain. I used to work out six days a week sometimes seven and have been in many fights too. This wasn't "minor" by any means with the level of pain I was in. Something was wrong with this situation. And now I know without a shadow of a doubt what that was. Before I get into that. Let me finish on the topics already brought up.

During this time, I got scared and asked God, where can I go? As they had already cut my brake lines, tried to shoot me, and now I felt they had kidnapped me somehow. Well, right about this time, I was looking heavily into government programs like MK Ultra, operation paperclip, operation mocking bird, and so on. I ended up with a cut brake-line just after finding out that S a n d y H o o k was a faked event. I eventually quit going out to sell any soap, and I'd met someone who was a restaurant owner who'd offered me a trip to Chicago for a small outing. I agreed. That day I was paying attention to who may be following me and there was in fact people following me (and it wasn't just one car it was multiple cars). If anything looked out of the ordinary these people did. I told the guy I was with. "I think people are following us." And I pointed them out. He was a retired Navy man and as his interests were peaked. He drove around close to one vehicle and the lady in the vehicle had to hide her face. He said, "she sure acts like she doesn't want to be seen". I felt a fear in me grow that I couldn't expound on until recently and I'd not yet learned all that I know today.

Since, I'd been injured in my sleep, I knew that I couldn't tell anyone in the family because they wouldn't believe me! I'd been through this multiple times and with other family members. It was one of the sole reasons I'd not had a stable and better foundation. I'd made a good living in times past. Needless to say, I felt guilty for getting into my uncles overflow of pills without asking him. So I went to him and confessed (as I mentioned) and he had forgiven me. Just told me that if I needed help to ask him. Well, hell... I could promise our house was bugged cause within days I heard my uncle tell my Father that I took the last of his pills! And I'm here to tell you this was not the case! (I've been telling everything else why would I hold this back if I'd done it?) I didn't know what to say towards that either. No-one would believe it wasn't me. I never told them about the changed belongings when I was gone and came back. I never told them about being followed or the prior attempts on my life. None of these instances ever came out of my mouth. I always felt that it was best to keep all these scenario's to myself. (how stupid I was)

So...I confessed again. Told my Uncle that he was right I took those too. But, this was a lie and I knew that I needed to find another place to stay where I could be safe! (I've still not told them I didn't take those pills.)

 After all I had been kidnapped and brought back without anyone noticing (and I was on the second floor at that). It was very clear that the very people who tried taking my life in December of 2013, then in March, and April of 2014, and (at this time) in 2015 was the same and still very heavily actively seeking to take my life.

Many questions were present that I had no answer to; as I do now.

Such as:
Who has the money to follow me place to place?
Who has the connections to keep people doing these deeds?
Who could influence my doctors and also break into my home kidnap me and bring me back?
Who touched me in my house one day years prior that I heard say "Boo" and could not see?

I was clueless... But, that's no longer the case. Before I get to that let me get back to this situation regarding "friends". Because of this situation at Dad's I'd asked God "who will protect me and where should I go?" This ultimately was my tipping point into learning that the only person I ever needed was God.

I heard, "Tyson" so I trusted that he would keep me safe (little did I know it was a lying spirit). Thing was he had a criminal history and I went and told him what I'd known about a half a million dollar hit being placed on my head. Soon after, I began to notice things that weren't right. Hearing conversations that told me he had turned on me. But, I had nowhere to run or hide. So, I was praying this wasn't the truth. Every time I'd would point out whenever he was doing crap that mimicked the "arts of betrayal and deceit" to him. (These demonic creeps have a knack for narcissistic ways). He would say I misunderstood them and his actions. We had known one another for 23 years and for the sake of wanting to believe he wouldn't do (what I knew him to be doing) I'd end up essentially "buying the lies". Even turning these lies back onto myself as if it was really my fault they were being deceptive. This victim mentality is a tool of the devils. One he has used on me since my childhood to control my life and my responses to paramount situations. I've since overcome this by the Grace and Mercy of the Almighty God of Israel (and I will expound on that more later). 

The deception he was using against me is also the tool we see being used by those who are in positions of power. This is something I'd found out through encounters that would've ended in me losing my life. If it hadn't of been for the spirit of the Lord-the Holy Spirit- stepping in. I'd be dead long ago.

Group's of people are employed in every state across the country--no-- It's all over the world. My experience however is with these groups here in America to run rogue operations. Operations that are led an directed by our very own government officials. These are kept under lock and key, described as national security endeavors, and are ran by alphabet agencies. All alphabet agencies are protected by the upper echelon in every town, city, state/country your in. Many who are employed by them will say I'm crazy, and everything I expound on is a lie but, that's cause they're liars, not me. They may even go as far as saying something about the grammar and punctuation to discredit me. Because this is what they do. They monitor me and "fix" (which is change my writings to make me look illiterate) follow and stalk me and get paid big big money to do so too. I know this cause of the few people I used to believe were friends that turned on me. Including my own family. Just saying, don't be so quick to listen to them. Or judge me for something so petty. Judge for yourself if these words written are truthful or not. Not by grammar, punctuation, and verbiage. But by the Holy Spirit (that is if he lives in you).

Anyhow.

This guy I just mentioned. His name is Tyson Tabb and he was someone I was confident to trust in. Because, as I briefly touched on already, of a false word I'd heard out of a counterfeit spirit. A word initially thought to be given by God Most High but, ended up finding out by experience. It was my enemy. We'd known one another for 23 years- and in times past- were lovers. I'd needed and wanted badly someone to trust in, confide in, and know I was safe with. As many attempts on my life had plagued my reality. At one point- just before asking God who I could trust- there was enough clarity to assume I needed very strong ties to remain safe in the free world. This targeting is rooted heavily into the infrastructure of our society, funded by some really wealthy people, and almost invisible to the public (although much of what I endured took place in very public places). And I still yet could not explain in as much detail as I can nowadays what was really going on. Not even sure I'd searched out the many things that could go wrong at the time of making this choice to trust him with my life. Yet automatically found it safe to assume that "God" wouldn't mislead me. As, again, I felt it was God Most High who told me I could trust him, and he'd keep me safe, which ended up being the farthest from the truth. And the sole reason why I understand better the importance of keeping my eyes on Jesus not wavering in my faith.

There is this truth of how governments across the earth are targeting their very own citizens- with mass surveillance measures like Stasi Germany did many moons ago. Yet, with a more refined and fully error free functioning system that pretty much goes unnoticed by society as a whole. This system is used by all levels of government, corporations, and your more than average criminal to achieve Machiavellian goals. People involved in this sort of arrangement vary from your average Joe-that most likely belong to a neighborhood watch or union- to those who are standing behind these desks in Congress, are over our digital / printing press, are uniformed officers/ in film. It's become very clear, and fully evident, that these people know they're actively participating in covert deeds that end in people getting hurt/killed. We know this because they receive payments for doing so. And I myself have witnessed it with my very own eyes how they operate. Making clear what scripture means when it says; the love of money is the root to all evil.

It may not be something easily picked up on. However it's very evident just in the overall scope of things! We've just been trained to believe it's something different than what I'm telling you it is.
We are surrounded by this paradigm. I unfortunately, when the targeting got worse, was already a very damaged person. I'd been living good. Making an income at the level

Just look at what's happening with democrats/republican corruption. The stuff that's been unfolding for the last few years 2016-2019. Think about all of the actions and compound them into an overall picture. And you can see they're doing nothing about many issues such as weather modification, child trafficking, and even the murder / punishment of people like Edward Snowden / Julian Assange who simply desire to get the truth out. These shenanigans have done nothing more than cost taxpayers millions of dollars, cause narratives that never come to a morally ethical conclusion, and always end up resurfacing with another name and face as if regurgitated by a propaganda machine. 

You see "they" don't care about us.  Oddly this is something even Michael Jackson brought to light before his untimely murder in his song They don't care about us! And this is also something I expound on in various other writings. I touched on it here to say this... Its these people in upper echelons of our society that are directing the path's of the average Joe-by means of mind control-and causing many to be led like sheep to the slaughter. Because they have no clue the scope of the picture. If you find this hard to believe. Look into what government means-which is to control the mind-and you can see this peril exists in name alone.

You see I learned all of this (and more) through the targeting I've endured since childhood. And this knowledge led me to understanding the peril's we face are far more paramount than anyone man/woman could even imagine. And it all points to spiritual wars spoken of in scripture.

Let me explain myself in greater detail.

There are those who knowingly and willingly operate to silence people, cause untimely deaths, use as guinea pigs in "secretive" experiments, and so many other sick (demonic) related activities like murder. As this was (and has been for many years) the case with me. And this isn't a secret either. Heck, I've even called and reported it to the FBI. And was called back by a female that left a message. Upon calling the number back. I was told the FBI couldn't do anything about people fraudulently posing as an agent. No one knew I'd called these people. So how did they get my number. More over why did they call me posing as an agent? You see there are many people who know about this situation. As I've expounded on it in past times. These maniacal people from all walks of life- who carry out covert deeds- are skilled an operate under a "guise".

This targeting that's managed to steal, steer, and control most of my life choices has shed light on many aspects of this system and the exploitation of it all. It also just so happens to be spoken of in full detail- for what it is in truth- by the Prophet Jonathan Kleck.

In 2010 my targeting grew worse than anyone could ever imagine. And I'd no idea what was going on. There were days when I'd come home from a hard days work, class, or volunteering in the community to find things had been stolen, changed, and even destroyed. Some of these instances many would attribute to being everyday issues. Such as my furnace exploding. Or the water main line breaking. But these things were happening back to back day after day. And month after month for almost a couple of years.  The increase in power and water bills for months on end coupled with having to buy new dryers, washers, tires, cars became too much. And I started to crack inside. I'd spent nearly 10 years in an industry that I hated with a passion to care for my family, make it through college, and sustain a viable business. All which I was well on the track of doing. Until these creeps decided to employ covert deeds that later came out in the light.

Many of these things that I can now speak on I couldn't answer at the time. And I still find it hard to expound on them. Reliving moments of confusion, fear, frustration, betrayal, backbiting, gossips that were lies, and losing some that I loved dearly causes me a lot of anxiety.  All I knew then is help was badly needed as this was far to overwhelming. And because they were being compounded by unusual things such as stealing, lies, and police harassment. Confusion and frustration set in. Because everyone I called out to-ad for some reason or another- to feel as if I was making these stories up.
And why I didn't make the connections then, that I can now make, is beyond me. All I know is this peril existed.

It is real.
It is honest.
And it is still a driving force in my life today.

In order to understand it all I assume now is the time that I begin to give more details and accurate accounts of various times throughout my life.


Maybe it would be best if I started with when I met Lucifer.



Because this is a blog. And no one is able to read someone's life story in a day. I will continue this post at another time. 
 Scripture to expound on what I've stated herein:
Matthew 7:15-20
15 “Beware of false prophets, who come to you in sheep’s clothing, but inwardly they are ravenous wolves. 16 You will know them by their fruits. Do men gather grapes from thornbushes or figs from thistles? 17 Even so, every good tree bears good fruit, but a bad tree bears bad fruit. 18 A good tree cannot bear bad fruit, nor can a bad tree bear good fruit. 19 Every tree that does not bear good fruit is cut down and thrown into the fire. 20 Therefore by their fruits you will know them.
Galations 5:22-23
22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith,
23 Meekness, temperance: against such there is no law


Good You Bad You #2



1Peter 2:9 But you are a chosen generation, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, his own special people that you may proclaim the praises of him who called you out of darkness into a marvelous light
Continued...

In my closing of The good you and the bad you 1 I addressed a few issues compound with 1 element they all shared (sin). Sin is an element that was inadvertently done all the while I was believing I was saved and living a good life. I'd repented, believed, and even went to church. Was acting as a contributing member of society by volunteering in and around my community, attended college full time (15 credit hours/semester and achieved 72 college credit hours). Managed to be placed on the Deans List even. All while working full time as an Independent Contractor specializing in Marketing/Research, buying and selling of goods, and dancing. Taking care of Mothers doctor visits and what nots from time to time too ... and Oh wait, can't forget, I was a mother to three young children who received no child support either. Let alone any physical support to lighten my load. This still didn't stop me from having days out with my children either or even working out for that matter.

Now, don't take me wrong either, I'm not boasting, but I'm gonna take credit for what I've done. It's only fair. I'm not saying this to impress you/anyone either. In reality I could have done so much more but didn't. So as you can see not only was I busy but, I wasn't busy sowing seeds of discourse or giving people reason to hate me. But Somehow life still seemed as if it wasn't always in my control, and people not only hated me, they were making sure everyone else would too. There is more than enough proof that I have been under mass surveillance (with my right to privacy being taken from me). I don't have solid proof of this but, I am almost certain the UFO sighting as a child had something to do with military and mass surveillance. My reason to feel comfortable sharing this is that of how this mass surveillance stole my life, put it in the hands of men with evil intent, and why this is able to be done with taxpayers money and help!! All the while truth of this system is being hidden behind everything and everyone that's involved. Exposure of such is necessary to show how you yourself are a part of this system. With no idea that you're even being used for such.

What I enjoy focusing on the most is the marvelous way Father revealed himself to me and why he chose me for this job of pointing you to how true the gospels really are. Before this point I'm at now many things happened that enabled me to see and hear The Most High in everything. Just like that monster drink I used to always drink without thought of how I was serving the house of satan. I continued to serve the house of Satan unawares.

Now, after all, I've seen and done. I can't help but think:

Where is my money going?

What am I doing with my time?

Who am I hanging around with?

Is my life glorifying the Lord God?

Am I living like Christ?

These questions are reasonable when you're a Christian or even human for that matter. It's when you don't ask yourself these questions that you should be questioning if you're ok. Cause lets be realistic here, there is something greater in this universe than you or I and if you can't see this, then you are blind as a bat and need a reality check big time. Every country in the world has a belief and they have a similar story to Jesus. They merely distort these truths right in front of our faces. It's been easy for them to do this too because quite frankly they aren't human. They've been around since the beginning of time and they have been hidden from you. Some of you have even been a vessel for them.

I didn't become aware of this until say the beginning of 2014 and didn't want to admit it to myself until recently. (That's how strange my story got) You see one will always have to keep in the back of their mind, when it comes to my story, that my life has been on the line a multitude of times. Once a gentleman was about to choke me out when his buddy said NO!!! NOT YET!! Let my brother get his. You see it was a winter night and I was overly curious as to exactly what was going on around me. As I've said before, curious me always wanted to get to the bottom of everything. Before I left to go to that house, (that I once lived in, @ #1000, a number later very significant to me) I decided I would tell a young girl (whom I've treated like a daughter of mine for many years prior) how I felt something bad was planned for me, but I didn't know for sure, and had to find out. Let her know also that if I didn't come back before a certain time know that I was last at this house I'd once lived in. Which was directly across the street on the crossing street. Little did I know I would be face to face with men who were planning my murder. Before I got there in my mind, I conjured up a story that I'd like to sleep with one of the guys that night, knowing that would be my escape goat. And that's exactly how I got away that night.



You see once I got into the house this feeling crept over me that someone didn't want me to leave. So, I buddied up to the one brother, and acted like I had no clue as to anything suspicious. Also, acting as if my mind was set on a sexual encounter with him. Instead, I was listening to every word that was said with great intensity, and what I was hearing not only infuriated me, it floored me!! They knew everything about me. Literally, everything from court records to people I'd dealt with in the past. It took literally everything out of me not to scream out "HOW DO YOU KNOW ALL OF THIS"...!!!

However, I remained calm even when I began to hear them talk about how bad the weather was and how they would be able to get rid of my body. About an hour after "Barry" was ready to strangle me I asked if "R" would move the bed to ensure no one else could get in the room. He said he would but he didn't budge!! So I knew then. I couldn't bolt out the door. Coming up with another plan. I said, "can I brush my teeth"? He agreed and I asked him to come with. While in the bathroom after having brushed my teeth. I asked if he would allow me to pee alone. The moment he shut the door. I locked it. Opened the bathroom window and jumped out. The snow was just about up to my knees and I had no shoes on but I got my butt to my girls' house in less than a minute.

That night was not only an eye opener for certain things but a doorway to many other unanswered questions. For two weeks I hid out at a friends house. While my mind thought of everything under the sun, and that's when I heard Father speak to me, after such a long time of being silent. He told me it was time for me to go out to California and embark on a journey that would help me find my place doing his will. At the end of the two weeks. My journey landed me in LA. Calvin ultimately did betray me, and although I knew it was coming, I don't believe I'd have been able to face much of what was coming my way had he not confirmed the people who were in the bushes that night.

Once separated from him- because of a feud with a bamboo stick- and the secrecy of who was outside that tent one night (As he was pointing the finger for them to wait) I'd been nervous about any and everything. So I began praying about everything. Ultimately thinking God wasn't hearing me and feeling pretty empty. I walked alone in somewhat of a daze. Trying to understand what exactly was going on around me. As everything had started to take a turn (as I previously mentioned here) I felt as if I was in the twilight zone.

The best way I can explain my mental state to any one of you is by this clip:

You see I've always been inquisitive by nature as well as a rebel. Whenever I was told to do something I was sure to do the opposite. When I was a young girl. I enjoyed manipulating the skin on my hands. Had sewed my entire hand with thread once just to prove that what one doesn't mind doesn't matter. It took the lady down the street to beg me to take it out. I felt bad for her not for me. So, at this stage of my journey, I wasn't sure if I should be feeling bad for myself, question my sanity, or feel bad for others. I stuck with just getting to the bottom of it though. I knew deep in my gut this is how things were supposed to play out. Like Neo who was beginning to see life from different lenses, I felt encouraged by my rebellion but also covered in my faith, to keep moving forward.

One sunny afternoon this young guy comes up to me that I had been seeing around the beach. We began walking and talking as if we had been friends for a long time when he said something to me that changed everything I'd ever come to know into a lie. He said: "it took me awhile to understand what was meant for me. At first, I ran around carelessly saying and doing anything I wanted. It took me going to prison just to learn that the old me couldn't last. So, when I came back, I changed my name. I believe you will have to do the same. The first time I met you. You were stubborn and I tried to warn you to listen to your mother. I cut my tail off after that and I can't wait till you come back as Phoenix...."

At that point I had to cut him short. None of what he just said made sense. When he first met me? What??!!! But, wait he cut his tail off? So, I said...

"Wait a minute here. Did you just say you cut your tail off?"

His response, "Yes, cut my tail off...

I'm not sure what we spoke about for the next 10-20 as we walked along that alley. But, I do recall what I was thinking...

There was a night where, I was out with my kids' father, but before we ever had our children, and we stopped at Village Pantry for some convenience store goods. He went into the store alone and I sat in the car with my window slightly cracked. An older man of color, who was dressed in a nice suit that had to be made in the 50s, came up to the car talking to me about how I should listen to my mother. I had no clue who this man was and I can bet I was rude as usual. He had turned away (to walk away) while I looked down to grab a cigarette, maybe one second passed before I was looking back up, and this man was nowhere in sight!! What made that weird was there was no one else at the store in vehicles so he would have had to walk away. But, from where I was parked I recalled thinking how strange it was for this man to walk up to my vehicle and try to give me a lesson over something he quite possibly couldn't know about me, to turn around and run in a snazzy outfit because there was no way in heck that man could have vanished to nowhere in sight in less than two seconds. It would have taken at least 10 seconds to walk to either end of the building. I thought about this over the years from time to time but with what was just said made that situation that much more real. Because, remember he told me he had met me before and warned me to listen to my mother? But, the guy at the village pantry was much older, both these guys were men of color but NO! it wasn't the same man. I was more than confused. I was totally perplexed and there wasn't much I could do about it at the moment ya know? So, we continued to talk and smoked a bowl and chatted some more, until we came up on his chill spot. The spot was on a slight hill behind a small shed. As we sat there and spoke I could hear something that sounded like chains, and it sounded quite close, but there wasn't anything in sight that would make that noise. So, I began to assess the set-up of this spot. It was about that time I noticed we were sitting on a piece of wood panel that was full length and width you'd purchase out of Lowe's or Menards. The wood was butted up to back of the shed, and came off to me as a way to cover something underneath us, because it appeared dug out in an area where the board had shifted a bit away from shed. This struck me as odd and I began to feel really nervous. He wanted to keep smoking and I didn't want to. At this point, I was not only cool. I felt like I might have been too cool with what we smoked because everything got really weird. I don't recall exactly how I asked the questions but I do recall what the questions were seeking to understand. Which went something like this:

Me: "Is there a whole under this board?"

Him: "yeah a small one"

Me: "Do you hear the noises that sound like chains?"

Him: "yeah, but it's nothing"

At this point, I am looking around the shed seeing if there are more holes in the ground or doors that I can't see, and that's when I had a vision (this is the only time I've had a vision without being asleep).

What I seen were demon men with chains coming out of a tunnel below that building and they were coming for me. Of course, I wasn't going to find out if this vision was real or not, so I looked at him and said "man, I gotta go, right now"... and I took off running...

The next few weeks were interesting to say the least. Everything and anything that could happen happened.
But, before I get to that let me explain something. Anyone who knows me knows I'm not your average character but, I'm not who everyone once knew either, rather someone transformed by the renewing of my spirit through my faith and these experiences. 

Hebrews 11:1 Now faith is the substance of things hoped the evidence for things not seen 

I can understand if people wouldn't want to believe them but I pray that you do because my stories are of actual past events with very real people and I get no reward for telling them. Unless you consider being called crazy a reward. I get plenty of those...


Back in say 2011. My mother and I had a spat one day. She said "Carmen, what are you afraid of?" at that time. I don't believe I truly knew the answer. Although I did say I was afraid of failing her... I do know now, in reality, I've only been afraid of me...




Back to Cali and me being me in what I now thought to be the twilight zone (around 2013-2014) Because of my thinking out of the box, I always looked into anything that wasn't transparent, considering it walking by faith and not by sight at this time was not my thoughts then as they are now either. Being a college educated lady who loved family was my basis for most anything. Do what you got to do to make it. But since this had been compromised some time back. What did I have to lose? Let's not forget my meeting with this gentleman, with what to appears to have been for the second time, was just weeks after someone intended to take my life, and I still didn't want to accept who that someone was until recently, when I decided to make my story public. I think it's very important to add that I'm not making this story public to expose people either. I have a very completely different agenda. Because, I know that life here in America is about to change, in a drastic way. We are given a promise and this promise is to be fulfilled real shortly. I can feel in my spirit that we are only seconds away from the coming of the Messiah, to gather the church. It was through these very situations, that you may consider crazy, I found out biblical text is very real and literal.

The Messiah said unto him, If you can believe, all things are possible to him that believeth Mark 9:23

So, now that I've got all my personal thoughts of everything out in regards to this particular situation during this time of my life. Let me go further in detail with what was happening. Because of the incident with Calvin, and the way everyone was asking me how long I'd been in LA (then tell me I was lying essentially) I began to notice how people seemed to be following me around. Now, during the beginning of this, I really wasn't sure if I was ok. You see none of what I was seeing and hearing made sense. It really hadn't even dawned on me that what happened in Muncie, IN would have followed me out to LA. So, I began to question whether or not I had lost my mind. Being that I've always been a socialite I'd inevitably found many different places to hang out. Some people were not at all affected by my presence while others began to seem if it disturbed them.

One day, there was an older gentleman on Venice beach, who liked to make art out of old tires. I would sometimes go and ask him if he would allow me to sleep close because I didn't feel safe. Well, it just so happens there is a guy who dresses up like a tree and sits in the bush right next to where this man slept. One evening the guy comes out of the bush and had scared the heck out of me. I hadn't even noticed he was in the bush. Let me see if I can find a video of him (people love recording stuff in Venice Beach...)

Ok, so it's not the same tree man I seen that day... but, geeze a little trippy right?

This is about how trippy it was seeing this man come out. So, as I sat there talking to this guy asking if I could stay around that night, I realized I should just ask him what was up with everyone asking me when I arrived. I also wanted to know why everyone was acting so strange around me. He didn't say much outside of the fact that people tried to say I was all out on drugs. Knowing this has been said of me for years (even before I ever started using heavy drugs which I DO NOT USE DRUGS AT ALL ANYMORE!!!) I didn't try to go in depth. He just told me I don't believe that about her. Saying, "You just appear to be tired"...

I was on mental overload that night. As with all the other nights. I could never seem to get enough rest because I always felt watched and not so safe. It was somewhere around this time that I'd been thinking about what I was going to do in order to get and keep myself safe. Because, when I was on the beach one day, soon after some girl ran up on me and tried to take my bag, I began fighting her back. As I was winning this fight two men jumped in. Within about a minute the LAPD pulled up on us and they took off running. When asked if I would like to press charges I said no. They replied, "for a small chic you sure had yourself"... I left not understanding why I was being targeted.

I knew better than to go to the beach after this in specific areas. What I did give thought to be the issue was the incident with Calvin. I figured people thought I was a snitch. I thought it might be best if I go back to my sisters house and stay there even if I didn't want to. After a couple nights in her house. I had found a party to go to. Borrowing her coat and a nice piece of jewelry wouldn't have been an issue (as it wasn't ever before) if I hadn't been robbed that next morning before I hopped the bus back to her place. Knowing she would be upset and mad. I decided to pawn a piece of her jewelry and get a hotel room. I would work the kinks out later ((even though I totally hated myself for doing it)). That evening I had went out into Venice and started questioning people about the bag and the items in it. But, the way people behaved with and around me was very disturbing and stressful until this one guy comes and says he would like to help me.

Before you know it he and I are getting lit and I totally tripped out. The head noise I began to experience was insanity. I felt It was time I started trying to get more help. I hooked myself up with a caseworker and moved over into the city over. Where they seemed to help the homeless more. I was willing to work and more... I met some really cool people along the way who had all sorts of different stories. Life started to appear normal again. But, I was led right back into Venice because I wanted to find Calvin and make it very clear. I'd had no involvement with him being arrested and them being busted on the beach.




There was a guy named Dicky, who later told me he felt like he met me because of God, that I would stay with in his truck from time to time... I used him as one of my growing safe havens. He told me I needed to be careful. I took that to heart and insightfully did just that. But, not without always encountering very strange situations. Such as people giving me drugs for free. Why would anyone walk up to a person and say "here, take this." then walk away? Or why did the police remember my name after the incident on the beach? These questions of mine must have been heard by a higher power. Because, one day after I went and had a shower, checked in with a worker, and had breakfast. I made a new friend. We sat and talked about life and other random crap that day. With no expectations of ever meeting again. But....

Soon after, I had left another safe haven I would stay at, freshly showered and mentally drained. Thinking about my situation of no kids to watch after (and I so badly wanted to) and why this all was going on. I had no job, everyone around me was acting weird, and I'm saying I hear Gods voice? It just didn't add up. What was I going to do? How was any of this going to make sense? Am I really hearing Gods voice right? In the midst of all these questions I said how and the heck am I to know where to go, what to do, or anything....?????

I found a dime.... picked it up and kept on moving.

About another block up the street was another homeless man. Who I'd often see that never spoke. I never heard him say two words. That is until this very moment.... He was sitting on a bench on Rose. I was walking up past him. His head was laid back and he appeared to be sleeping. As I crossed his path. His head sprung up and in a demonic voice he said, "GOD IS ALIVE"... and then his head dropped back. ((( I have to chuckle telling this story. You would've had to witness it yourself to understand fully )))

It was like something out of the exorcist... I was pretty stunned to say the least and just kept walking as if nothing happened. Landed at the grocery store just a couple blocks up. Where I met up with the gentleman I had met at the center for the second time. He said: "I wondered when you were going to show up." I had no intent of ever meeting him again. Of course, I'd be surprised when he said this. So, I replied, "what do you mean? We never arranged to meet, or did we, and I'm really losing my mind?"

Him: "No, your not losing your mind and we didn't plan on meeting, the birds told me to wait here."

I'm mentally torn out of my frame at this point. The odds of all this odd crap happening to me, and around me, was mentally draining. But, it had dawned on me in a split second what scripture says:

Ecclesiates 10:20 Do not revile the king even in your thoughts, or curse the rich in your bedroom, because a bird in the sky may carry your words, and a bird on the wing may report what you say.

Me: "The birds told you to wait on me? I need to have a seat. Things keep getting creepier and creepier by the moment."

Him: "Please do, I have something to give you. I found this the other day and God told me I needed to give it to you." 

He handed me a stirling silver bracelet with 3 heart charms on it. All of the charms sat on top of one another. One heart was just a frame, the second was a larger heart frame, and the third was a full heart with a place to stick a photo in the center. On the back of it. It had an inscription which read. I know I've told you this many times before but as a forever reminder I will always be with you....

I almost lost it in tears. This was God showing me something. This was God who lead me to that moment. That's where my dime comes in. The dime I always see right when I get to thinking God is not with me...

I'm going to leave the links here to these previous writings....

Please, read them for more on this. I will be taking a break from my story to focus on a couple of other topics. I am needing to expand on. By next week my computer issue will be resolved and I will be able to write more frequently....

https://carmensloved.blogspot.com/2016/03/im-not-perfect-but-gods-will-is.html

https://carmensloved.blogspot.com/2015/11/visions-prt-3.html

https://carmensloved.blogspot.com/2018/02/god-101-in-carmens-world.html


https://carmensloved.blogspot.com/2018/02/a-little-more-about-10-how-i-apply-it.html

Here is a video of a gentleman who was interested in the lives of others as I once was. Which allowed me to stay out in the streets with such ease at first. The video isn't a much watch but can give idea of the situation I placed myself in.