I'm trying to make this one short and straight to the point because this will be expounded on in some coming writings I've got to post.
Sometimes life can be so overwhelming. Honestly, I believe that this is something we do to ourselves in many retrospects. But, that's not why I'm posting. So, about a few months ago there were three incidents that occurred that struck me odd with people who profess Jesus Christ. These would be my brothers and sisters. In these incidents, God was dealing with me. He was showing me some personal traits that need to be gone. For instance, in one situation I was totally offended. There was just some straight b.s. that shouldn't have happened that did and it offended me something serious. The word says in Psalms 119:165 Great peace have they which love thy law: and nothing shall offend them.Nothing shall offend them?
So, why then was I offended?
Another situation was when the Lord kept pressing me to talk to a sister about scripture and sound doctrine. She wasn't receiving the message and I sure wasn't wanting to press the matter either, however, the conversations we were having were exactly that. Welp, she took it as I was the one wanting to talk about it. When in fact, that totally wasn't the case. Praying over all of this I was asking why it was going that way and I kept hearing because He wants her to learn this. In the process He showed me how this applies to Proverbs 3:5-7 Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; 6 in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight. 7 Be not wise in your own eyes; fear the LORD and turn away from evil.…
One day He told me that she would get angry with me but that I needed to keep doing as He has laid on me to do. Needless to say, she did get angry and I knew she was going to so I tried like heck to avoid this conversation. But, she brought it up, and I'm instructed to speak truth and sound doctrine in all things.
Titus 2:1 “But speak thou the things which become sound doctrine:”
And as she directed the conversation I was speaking the things which become sound doctrine which totally angered her. I saw it coming and wanted so bad to avoid it because this seems to be a common thing with brethren who are "in the church" that appears to be teaching commandments of men.
I wasn't sure how to handle it.
Then, in the third incident, a sister was telling me how the spirit of the Lord was telling her that the bible wasn't perfect and that she need not read it all because it basically was a lie.
Oh, this totally hit me hard. I wanted to reprove her instantly. Yet, in my spirit, I heard; "Remain silent".
Upon having a prayer call I was praying and when I pray I let the Spirit guide me. In that guidance, I was praying that none of us become puffed up or prideful.
Not sure why she felt it was directed at her, but she did and asked me if I was talking about her. Of course, I'd said no.
I mean, when I was praying I was praying for the church. And without going into too much detail there's a brother of ours that can come off as if they're boasting about the liberty in Christ. This doesn't bother me that much, however, it bothers others that do not understand why he is speaking on things the way he does. That's moreso the thought that had been placed on me and it necessarily was directed at no one person. Rather for the entire church as a whole.
I've prayed and people have healed. It would be easy to become puffed up in vain thoughts for me -or anyone else for that matter- thinking they've done something when in fact they've done nothing but ask for something in faith.
He is the rewarder, healer, and deliverer.
Anyhow, she didn't take this easy. She took my prayer way out of context and thought it was directed solely at her.
She showed she had become offended.
My thoughts were:
Oh, there are many ways to become offended and we aren't supposed to be.
Anyway, she asked if it was directed towards her. I'd said, "No." And she said, "I need to pray on this" and hung up.
Well, all of this sat on my heart heavy. I wanted nothing more than to do the right thing by our Father in all of these situations. At some point, my errors in each situation were made clear. These situations were made for me to grow and to come to the understanding of how Christ can change us from the inside out.
In the process, a old feeling of needing to write something emerged and I took myself to doing just that. When all of a sudden things kept happening and I was perplexed.
Was I really to be writing about all of this.
This was when I realized that all of my learning was needed to be used to obtain an answer to a seriously sought out question.
In all of this, I found out that I'm instructed to share all these scenario's in writing before I can obtain my answer. It wouldn't be a problem if there weren't other things that I was dealing with in terms of work.
You see, I'm targeted. In Don Fums mysterious directions I was given all of the targeting structure. Exciting for me. Yet, it's also so profound that I've found some issues needing resolved in order to have the exact framework. This makes it so that I've got to make connections. The more connections I make the more understanding of that system is revealed.
I want nothing more than to please Chrsit. In the same situation I want to help others come to the knowledge of what is happening spiritually while also being able to show how they work through the system.
All of it is a bit much.
I'm one person.
One person, who, btw, is targeted heavily. They're always doing something to me. Sometimes it means nothing where as others it means I must spend much time healing in prayer and even getting more sleep.
Oh, and life happens, something seems to happen every day that takes up a lot of my time. Not to mention, if you've got brain fog you can't write that easy.
Which brings me to why i wrote these thoughts today. I've got a couple of situations that need addressed -for myself- and I'm searching the scriptures daily to learn more about those situations and get the guidance that I so badly need/want. This is good for the writings I'm embarking on. But not good for those writings
that disclose the system the way this plan show me it is.
What do I focus on?
Oh, my faith; Jesus.
What He wants of me. And He wants me to search the scriptures and share my past as it relates to the scriptures. Using nothing but the scriptures.
In this, I will have to work on that cipher and the system using the 'left over' time from doing this first task. It's not what I want. In fact, I prefer to get the whole system outlined for others to have the understanding and for this crap to be blown wide open. I also know that we are in the end and this worlds deeds will not change. They need Jesus to come in and clean up.
My main goal here and now is to be in the perfect will of the Lord thy God as it is written and I'm absolutely tired of my sinful flesh. No matter how hard I try anything I can't escape this flesh. Satan will always try to persuade me in one way or another.
Okay, I poured out my thoughts for now.
Till next time.
Carmen
